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Ati says | |||
| Lady Autumn Lady Autumn paid a visit, This end of summer’s noon. Lady Autumn paid a visit; She’ll be leaving soon. Lady Autumn has a first name - A name I cannot tell Lady Autumn has a first name You know it very well. When she walked across my gate, My roses fell en masse. When she walked across my gate, A shadow fell upon the grass. She came and knocked against my door, Fogging up the window pane She came and knocked against my door, From where my roses lain. Her hair was wove of fallen leaves, Her breath a bitter chill Her hair was wove of fallen leaves Resting on my window sill. Her eyes spoke of water slow And a tinkling of bells Her eyes spoke of water slow; A river in death knells. Her voice was of a gale cast - A blowing in my ear Her voice was of a gale cast At once both far and near. She asked me for a cup of tea And a sweater blue She asked me for a cup of tea And gave a winter new. I asked her of her travels late Of lands both near and far I asked her of her travels late Beneath her shining star. She told me of a world of chill A world of shade and leaves She told me of a world of chill A world of evergreens And then she stood and walked away A shadow in the shade. And then she stood and walked away A new world to be made. I think this is easily one of my best. What do you folks think? |
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| Total Topic Karma: 0 | - More by this Author | |||
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p0ss says |
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| nice personification, good juxtaposition between the warmth in the beining and the chill toward the end, highlighting the passage of time through the poem. Good use of classic methaphor and enchanting imagery. That said, i found it a tad predictable. |
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| - 20 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| hmmm... any suggestions on how to make it less so? |
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| - 23 February, 2007 | ||||||
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